Midlife Travel Shenanigans You Have to See {or Read} To Believe | No Joke!

TravelLifestyle

Jul 25

Midlife travel shenanigans, airplane, airport mishaps

MidLife Travel Shenanigan Stories You Can’t Makeup

Traveling by plane in your twenties is carefree. Who cares if you get the middle seat on every leg of the flight?

In your thirties, it’s Klampit-travel with a diaper bag, stroller, and two babé’s in tow; one being Ace bandaged around your chest to free up both hands to wrangle the second – and for once not caring that you smell like baby spit-up because you’re hoping your seat-mate will ask to be relocated anywhere else on the plane {“I’ll even take the lav seat, please!”}.

MidLife traveling is where it’s at! Gives ya a whole new appreciation for comic relief…

By the midlife years, we’ve traveled by airplane long enough to have a story – or 56 – to share when we get home.

My last trip to Walla Walla featured a venti-size helping of “keep calm, and hold your shizzle together”.

The flight out was a piece of velvety chocolate cake. Our return travel was a montage to the Beatles song “I Should Have Known Better” from A Hard Day’s Night.

On these mishap flights, I’m thankful we don’t have baby-travelers with us anymore. But I still feel the exhaustion of all the baby-toting parents around me in the delayed-flight-zone.🥹

“This parent thang is easy! Let’s fly with them.”

By MidLife, I should know better.

I trolleyed my suitcase up to the kiosk, tapped in my flight number to check my bag..tap–tap– “what’s wrong with this thang?”

PUSH–PUSH–n–HOLD

This “check bag” button must be stuck!

Then I saw it, in red letters at the top of the screen…

“Sorry Sister - you can’t check luggage for this flight until 11:05pm, since you’ll now be sitting here until 2:00am.” – 2:00am! That’s all I really saw on the screen – 2:00am! –

Delayed all-nighter flight - EXCELLENT!

Make the best of it

Finally got the bag checked around midnight so we could meander over to the gate, find two plastic, modular seat units with their cold metal armrests, and settle in for our delay.

B, my comfort-travel-companion, can fall asleep anywhere in 8.3 seconds. Myself, in midlife-sleep-deprivation-training, sat and watched + listened to the southern drawls around me.

Testing Restraint #1

A Dallas flight was boarding and while they were I became invested in a 20-something’s story of how he was going to convince “his gal” –who hates camping– to go on his camping trip with him.

I sucked the air out of the boarding area,
my eyes bulged from their sockets,
and the screams in my head were reaching my lips at a rate faster than a jet plane racing down a runway.

I know this girl - I am THIS GIRL!

From one non-camping gal to another…This 20-something was about to make a HUGE relationship fail, and I sooooo wanted to help save this poor soul.

However, I restrained with my mantra of –

“Butt out–butt out– BUTT. OUT. It’s none of your business Andrea.”

Midlife Tip:: Don’t beg a non-camper to traipse into + sleep in the woods because you think you can get her to enjoy it. Her misery WILL NOT enjoy your company!

funny quote, airport travel, facial expressions

Testing restraint #2

I saved a life this night

Did you know they drag the long metal seats around on the ear-piecing cement floors + machine clean at 12:30am in the SEA-TAC Airport?

We didn’t either.

My soundly-sleeping travel companion was awoken by the person clearing the above screeching seats, who then told us we had to move so they could clear our area for cleaning.

“Sir, you have to move.”

B and I have been together over 30 years. I’ve never seen actual shooting-daggers come from his eyes EVER! I was picturing Hugh Jackman in Wolverine right then. And that airport employee must have seen it too, because he about-faced and said, “You can stay.” 😳

I eeeeeased B back into consciousness, coaxed him out of his chair, and we moved us to another section of the airport.

{He was just trying to do his job, at midnight. Can’t blame him for wanting to finish and go home.}

And The Winner of Testing Restraint #3

goes to…

RICHARD! RICHARD!! RICHARD!!!

We’ve moved seats and thought we had the loudest part of the evening behind us.

🤣😂🤣
Shame on us and our optimism.

B:: snoozing again.
Me:: awake-dreaming of my bed with my AirPods.
Lady Anonymous:: Begins yelling for RICHARD!

I’m worried about my facial expressions escaping all night with other shenanigans, and she’s all-out screaming to get RICHARD!’s attention 22-feet away.

After the third RICHARD! screech, I knew she was in for the long haul, so the volume went up on my AirPods.

Where’s the humorous part of this event?

In the moment, none. Nada. Zilch.

So when B asked me a bit later if I heard the lady screaming behind our heads at RICHARD!, I mustered the energy to simply say, “No.” {I was finally getting sleepy & just wanted to sleeeeep}

“Screaming? Four inches from our heads? Nope – I didn’t hear any RICHARD!”.

However, when I got my humor back + started retelling the story once home, B looked over and said, “You told me you didn’t hear her.”

“Of course I heard her, Babe – Gates 8-10 heard her bellowing for RICHARD! – TSA agents in Los Angeles heard her shrieking – The arriving plane of passengers still on their plane heard her bellowing!”

EVERYONE heard the call for RICHARD!

By that point in the night {morning} it was safer for everyone that I turn up the volume on my AirPods, get lost in a show, and SPEAK TO NO ONE – Not even the love of my life –

I’ll give RICHARD the benefit of the doubt that’s what he was doing too. 🙉

There ya have it! An Airport MidLife Rambling that

I
CAN’T
MAKE
UP

After a good night’s sleep in my own bed, these airport travel shenanigans are a comical memory of another good trip to Walla Walla.

But should the next person stand inches behind me in the airport and set off my Apple Watch noise alert with their yelling, my facial expressions will 100% reveal themselves, and my mouth too.

The older I get, the less mouth-control I have…me, Ms. Yeller, and RICHARD! will have a heart-to-heart reminder about common courtesy.

PSA:: Kindness for others goes a really long ways – especially at 2:00am in an airport.
💖✈️

I don’t toot my own flute loudly in an airport, and it’s never been a natural thing to do for this 70’s baby. If you have a friend who appreciates travel tips and stories, please pass this along…

Better yet, Scroll down and click into the Mid Life Refresh and join the Stylish Travel Shenanigan conversation ⬇↓⬇

View on for two more Mid Life Refreshment {MidLife is a good life!}::