Menopause is a secret, why?

Lifestyle

Aug 11

menopause is a Musical, But it’s not a song-n-Dance

I hope you have a full cup of coffee with a heaping spoonful of caramel creamer, because I’m veering away from regular blog talk and diving into that secret talk of what menopause is.

True. If you’re one of the 70 million women in the U.S. experiencing this horrible roller coaster ride right now, you have a pretty good idea what menopause is…maybe.

Besides Menopause The Musical, most everything on the subject reads like Alexander Hamilton’s 818-page book…

No one wants to read about it or talk about it, because we’re not sure if anyone else is going through the same thing, or if we’re just losing our grip on reality.

So, besides my everyday talk on fun travel now that you’re hitting the empty nest phase, or re-designing style in your Chapter 50+, this is a topic that I’ve been reading about and listening to a lot in the last year.

Part One {of who knows how many} starts TODAY

If menopause is hitting 70 million women, there has to be at least a few hundred who want a space to talk about this chapter in life - it’s filled with fun, yes, but also the unpredictable, and sometimes truly crap-tastic modifications that are driving a full bus of unwanted changes our way.

The Menopause musical pokes fun at all the phases of menopause. Good for a fun laugh, and I want to see this musical, but it’s not all comedic relief, all the time. And running the gauntlet of symptoms in the 6-month to 4-year transition has women feeling like they’re in the 50-year-old version of the Hunger Games.

Knowledge::Your Hunger Games Survival Drop

Having a sponsor who drops survival tools to you in The Games helps tributes survive inside the ring. In our menopause game, it’s not only finding grace within our space, but having better information. Yes, absolutely, positively, most definitely talk to your doctor {and not Doctor Google}.

But seeing my doctor once a year in a one-to-one conversation isn’t enough.

I hate that feeling of being the only one experiencing something. You want to make an alliance with other Tributes and commiserate together. We don’t have to solve anything, but hearing or reading experiences that match our own gives new perspective, and in the simplest words - lets us know we’re not bonkers.

Men::

On the off-chance any men scroll on through this…we don’t like this any more than you do. Having a volcano erupting inside you that feels like Dante’s Inferno is being built in miniature out of our insides is a special level of hell. Emotionally, when a mood switch swoops in that makes us appear unhinged, that’s not a picnic in Hawaii for ANYONE!

So have some empathy, because while you’re historically deemed “distinguished” as you age, women in their 50’s+ are not dubbed with the same monikers {ridiculous, I agree}.

20-somethings::

If one 20-something happens to click in, I have this personal note for you…probably wouldn’t have changed the timing of us having kids, but if I would have known then that I’d be watching my children strut out the doors to live their best lives at the same time I have this never-ending-cycle passing through I might (might) have had kids in my 20’s instead of my 30’s.

As it is, I’ll be toting a box of Kleenex with me this year as my baby celebrates his senior year of lasts and hits the world discovering where and what he wants to do next as he leaves me behind.

You can be excited for them at the same time as you’re scared and sad {and yes, excited, too} about what comes next for you.

Textbook symptoms

Menopause is an endless list of possibilities that hits every symptom like a drug commercial listing off side effects. “May cause dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, uncontrollable urge to scream at your dog walking by, strange rashes in strange places, sobbing when the Keurig pod canister is empty, hot flashes, weight gain, the funk, waking at 4:30am, food sensitivities, visceral fat, body fat, loss of muscle…”

The nine months of pregnancy to birth seems like a party day at an amusement park. And menopause is the Hunger Games ring we didn’t volunteer to get into.

The Mayo Clinic to WebMD briefly rattles off a myriad of symptoms that you might experience in the 6-months to 4-years sentence {we all are different, so cover the range of possibilities}. Two of the better resources I’ve read brought a little piece of sanity back.

Dropping these two books into my arena gives me hope that I can be the Katniss of these games {thankfully there are more survivors than one in this Hunger Games - so you’ll make it through too}.

Interesting Reads

Why We Can’t Sleep by Ada Calhoun {January 2020}

The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunter {May 2021}

While reading Ada Calhoun’s book, I met up with a group of other women interested in talking about all the changes in our sleep patterns, book club style. Dr. Gunter’s candor in The Menopause Manifesto lives up to the accolades for her being a “fearless advocate for women’s health”.

Each ‘Menopause Tribute’ will want Dr. Gunter as their sponsor with the expert knowledge she drops in. She debunks stubborn myths and misunderstandings about menopause with facts, science, and what we’ve got today. {So candid, and in places might make you blush, but might just be me.}

I found myself going back over the data and stats just to make sure I heard it correctly. She broke out statistics in straightforward numbers AND in percentages.

Learning - asking questions - and then deciding was the premise of The Menopause Manifesto book.

Dr. Gunter shares the hormonal therapy options and her medical findings on them, but also emphasizes trying to reduce symptoms by getting rid of the disruptors of smoking, no exercise, and poor diet.

What’s Helping

Knowledge + advice from my doctor are all fine, but sometimes it can still feel like being a test monkey going into space for the first time, all alone, in a tiny capsule…let’s launch another rocket and see if that helps.

Some days we’re fine, happy, and great, others we’re a scattered mess, and sometimes it’s just a mehhh day. Life is one full arena and all us Tributes need to stick together. Sharing with each other, talking, reading, and maybe even creating another book club will get us through this completely unpredictable phase.

I didn’t volunteer as Tribute, but since our names were drawn, let’s do what we do best…

Figure it out together!

Menopause has morphed in the last year for me, and my list has right along with it, but now, in the moment, I’m focusing on::

Exercise 4-5 days a week {longer time for less results nowadays - but still have my humor about it}
Easing off caffeine {not sure it’s worth it yet}
Yoga + meditation {but still can’t meditate past 6 minutes}
Dressing in layers
Reading {more than just Meno books}
Daily writing on my blog
Focusing on something other than my body changes {renovation of #TheHouseGrandpaBuilt}
GRACE for myself {which I suck at; self-talk can be brutal}
My new skincare routine {back to basics}

What about you?

Blessings

This isn’t meant to be a drag-ya-down kinda post. It’s more a keep-it-real kind of post.

Life is pretty darn good overall. But in a time when the perfect Instagram or Facebook post always pops up, when all we see are the sparkly-shiny moments in others’ lives, it can make us feel like that’s the norm for everyone else but you.

And it’s not!

There are fantastically shiny moments, but asking about or sharing the crap-tastic moments needs space too. And besides sharing information, that’s the reason I wanted to write this out today.

Not to complain, but because I know I’m not the only one; I just don’t see or hear it.

Finding “us” on social media seems a rarity. The 72-million+ millennials and gen z-ers have cornered the social waves, and they’re still a ways off from this Hunger Games chapter of life.

It’s time to start scattering it around a little tiny bit without the shame.

Last Few Tidbits

Henceforth, if I write more pieces about what menopause is, or newfound experiences in it, I’ll be going with the Hunger Games theme.

Is there a better one…I mean, “Girl on Fire” and her presentation gown that burns into a flaming hot mockingjay! A Tribute thrown into an arena with little or no knowledge on how to maneuver it.

How old is Suzanne Collins anyway - is there subliminal meaning behind her books? 🧐